Saturday, October 6, 2007

On The Rim

I didn't realize how apt the name of my blog was till this morning. Was lazing around at home, as is usual during vacations..and it suddenly occured to me that there are hundreds of things I need to think out. Like plan my internships, think over my exam which I have to write on the 24th, start doing basic research for the moot, plan out my diet, discuss some things about college and work and future with my parents, find out some things..and I realized how much I procrastinate with respect to these issues.
Even since college has begun, I never really allow myself to settle down in either place, be it home or college. When I'm in college I'm always looking forward to getting home and chilling, and when I'm home, I keep putting off things I really need to work out in my head till I get to college. I don't know when I became so much of an escapist. Somewhere along the line, I've become so underconfident about being up to facing a problem and coming out on the winning side that I've started ignoring problems altogether. It's not like they don't catch up with me, but whenever they do, I just take an ad hoc decision and forget about the whole thing. It's really weird- this isn't what I used to be like. And I've really missed out on a lot in the last two and a half years because of this. I need to settle down. Breathe. And think, and take decisions. Focus. And live the life that's currently on play. Stop running from one place to another in my head. Maybe I should try meditating. And I really should lose weight.
I'm gonna do both from today. Just after this last little nap. I've gotta get down, plunge deeper, stop being the rim-person that I've become. I suppose this entry would've been more apt for a very personal journal. But I don't keep one. And I don't really care if people see this. So there. I will stop floating today. Just after this little nap.

12 comments:

barty said...

I can relate. Thats about all I can say. I am glad I am not the only one for whom it (this sort of procrastination) is a problem. I always forget to fill in applications, forget to talk to advisers, forget to write that application essay, until the final moment. Heh, at least you're one step closer to solving it than I am.

Bhavya said...

Na..it's worse for me. I don't forget. I avoid it cuz..I dunno why, really. But it'll keep troubling me, it'll keep irking me that I'm supposed to do it and I don't. But I won't put in the effort and do it. And it's not plain laziness. Dunno what the matter with me is. Sigh. But thanks for the comment.

Björn Borg said...

1. Very feel good post, for a change.:)
2. Yes, I agree.. You do need to lose weight! :)

Bhavya said...

hain? This was a feel good post? It was a terribly cranky and complaining one. Yeah..I'll lose weight.haah

Björn Borg said...

You talked about losing weight. I felt good! :P

J said...

See???

With great age...comes great guilt and responsibility. Basically, you're just getting old :P

Bhavya said...

@borg- Huff.

@J- Sigh..yeah..I feel like Spiderwoman

Scarlett said...

Wow. Those are my thoughts down there. To the last word.

When you think of an effective feasible solution, do let me know? I've gotten sick of the rim. I'm an escapist.

Bhavya said...

Ditto. Are we all like that?

Scarlett said...

I don't think half the world realises such things about themselves.

I don't know. Maybe, it's law school. Then again, that's just me. I like to blame law school for just about.....everything.

Divya said...

It is law school...escapism is not something I subscribe to at all, even though I dream a lot...I think law school just has too many problems so you can't handle them all simultaneously. I think there's a bit of an escapist in all of us and certain situations in life bring out that tendency more than others.

Divya said...

I also want to lose weight...and to stop thinking about that problem I lose myself in the world of junk food..I need help!!