Saturday, April 25, 2009



Need I say more?! I'm AWESOME :D

Thank You (For lack of a more innovative title)

Having friends does not necessarily mean that those people are your well-wishers. Friends come in different packages, and I have had the good fortune (I guess) to have been associated with both varieties of friends- those who wish me well constantly, and those who have a slightly more competitive edge and are not purely routing for me. I would like to thank most deeply and pay a tribute to the former category of people, who have made more of a difference in my life than I think even they are aware of.

While I might come across to most as an extremely self-assured person, like most people (again, a guess) I have significant moments of self-doubt. Something people who know me (ever slightly) are very aware of is that I am an extremely anxious and tense person, especially with respect to results/outcomes/end-products of my attempts. In a place like law school, where we are constantly exposed to ups and downs, I think this trait in me has been enhanced and exhibited more frequently than ever before. I sincerely want to thank all those people who have stood by me and supported me in situations where I had very little faith in myself. In particular, I want to thank some special, who from as far as I can think back, has always been there for me. And by being there for me, I don’t just mean it in a sense where his emotional support has backed me through all my pursuits. He has physically been present through some of the most trying moments in law school. He has listened to me whine endlessly about how stressed I am about something, sometimes offering advice, sometimes just suggesting I calm down, and most of the times, just silently listening to me vent. He has held my hand through the declaration of results, calmed me down when I have failed and cheered me on with pure goodwill and absolutely no envy or tinge of competitiveness when I have succeeded. Something which might not seem like such a big deal, but has meant the most out of all these things he has done to me is the fact that whenever I have tackled any of these difficult situations, it has always been with the arrangement that I will meet him immediately after it. After the most disastrous moot oral round that I have had, he was waiting for me and we were to go for dinner. For a job interview which I was mortified about and right before which, my self-confidence had been torn to shreds, he chose to accompany me, which was completely unexpected. It means the world to me that during the oral round, I had the comforting thought that I just had to get through those messy twenty minutes, and I would be with him and could pour my heart to him about it. During my job interview, the fact that he was just outside the door and I would be able to tell him all about it in a matter of minutes after the interview was something that filled me with a sense of security. I don’t really know how to describe it, but his mere physical presence in the vicinity, or the assurance that he would be with me right after I got over with the ordeal and it was just in a matter of minutes that I would be in his comforting presence is something that has gotten me through what I would describe as my toughest moments in life so far. The thought that I could forget about all that had happened and just be in his company soon has often been what gave me the energy to go through with whatever it was that I was facing.

I know this post sounds sappy, and I know it is very different in terms of style with the other stuff I have written on my blog, given that it’s very straightforward and barely twisted in with many words (yeah, I know I do that). But I want this to be just what I said it was- a thank you note and a tribute. I haven’t achieved anything particularly significant in life so far, but whatever little I have in the past four years, I owe to a very large extent to you.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Rain is the most beautiful of all of nature's creations. Nothing comes close even.
I know this theme is getting repetetive, especially under this label. But I can't help it. Rain reasserts my faith that there is a God in charge, and he creates wonderful things sometimes. It simply cleanses my soul.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


It hit me recently (actually when R pointed it out) that I have just 5 months left in law school. 2 months of this trimester, and 3 in the last trimester of 5th year. It is such an unbelievably weird feeling. At the cost of sounding very clichéd, it wasn’t so long ago that I remember lamenting that I didn’t know how I would ever get out of this place, and that 5 years was an incredibly long time. And now suddenly, it’s just 5 months; 5 months in a place where I have spent the last 4 years of my life, 5 months with the people I have been closest to for what feels like forever, 5 months in Nags, with Chetta and Peking and Rohini.

And I started wondering, if I could have done things differently, what is it that I would have done. Here’s a rough list:
1. Studied a bit more.
2. Whined much, much less.
3. Had more to drink. Not picked up smoking.
4. Gotten to know more people, especially the ones I always thought were rather cool, but kept procrastinating talking to.
5. Spent more hours outside Himalaya with Rishabh.
6. Eaten out less. Or maybe more.
7. Tried to stay out of certain messes I was drawn into.
8. Tried to be more involved when some of my friends needed me.
9. Talked less.
10. Not lost a phone, an ATM card and a credit card.
11. Shut people out less.
12. Gone jogging/ gyming.
13. Called my friends more when I was at home.
14. Replied to Anwesha’s mail about Bombay.
15. Partied more, sulked less.
16. Listened more.
17. Had more water fights.
18. Been less nasty to juniors during Univ Week. Nah, not really.
19. Not interned in the first and second year.
20. Not gone home when Rajkumar died.
21. Not fought with Adarsh.
22. Stayed back a few times at the end of trimester (on the day after the last paper).
23. Not screamed at Amber so much. Cared more.
24. Talked to more people.
25. Read more articles in Socio I. And Pol Sci.
26. Not read articles for Socio II end term.
27. Been a bit nicer to people who seemed lost or lonely.
28. Been a little meaner to people who hurt me.
29. Tried to learn Contracts on my own.
30. Submitted a few more projects on time.
31. Mooted more.
32. Brooded less.
33. Gotten to know Divya a little earlier.
34. Been more tolerant.
35. Done a better Corp II project.
36. Been more careful about who I dated and who I dumped.
37. Been a better Secret Santa.
38. Explored Nags more.
39. Screamed at more Auto-wallas.
40. Bought fewer clothes.
41. Read more.
42. Treated my car better and given it more of a chance.
43. Not judged some people too soon.
44. Been a better judge of character with some.
45. Played Holi on campus a few more times.
46. Liked law school a little more.
47. Cried less.
48. Been more childish.
49. Gotten to know Kaushik a little earlier and taken his trip more.
50. Gone for Pub Pool more.
51. Chilled more, worried less.

A lot of things I can think of, apart from the 51 abovementioned, that I would want to differently. But at the end of it all, I am not really sure I would have liked to spend a single minute differently. Here’s to college life and all the ups and downs it comes with, here’s to all the friends who love you and hate you the most all at the time. Here’s to law school, a strange place, which you can’t live with and can’t live without, which has dominated my existence for as long as I can think of myself as an adult and is now disappearing all too soon. Here’s too all the many clichés I have used in this post, but genuinely felt, all the same.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Common Cold Syndrome

Inspired by the current state of my nose, not to mention general health, I wish to expound on the various things my system was forced to undergo when I suffered from a common cold. For the life of me, I don’t understand why it’s called a ‘common’ cold. I think it’s the most awful of all ailments, save the biggies.
For the last 3 days, my nose and throat have been acting like they have a life of their own. Till today, I was not in possession of that wonderful substance called Vicks Vaporub. So I spent two nights with at least one blocked nostril at all times. Last night was particularly disconcerting. After getting up over a thousand times and walking the enormous distance between my hostel room and the washbasin to blow my nose, I still had to breathe through my mouth. Discussing in particular the phenomenon of blowing one’s nose, I hate the fact that it just leaves you usually more breathless, and that the areas around your nose seem to burn right after you finish blowing it. Last night, it left me feeling particularly feisty and dissatisfied. In any case, after returning to my bed, I tried changing the position of my face many, many times, hoping that the blockage would reduce. My left nostril was completely clogged, and I kept closing my right one and trying to blow through the left one to get some relief. But nothing really happened. It was like these tiny creatures had set up an enormous fort in my left nostril and no gust of wind could blow it away. I even tried lying flat on my stomach, hoping that gravity would force those little minions to move down a bit. I finally found a position, head tilted slightly to the left, where the left nostril seemed to be clearing. And you’ll probably not believe this (I don’t know if there is a scientific irony sufficiently explaining this), but as my left nostril started to clear, my right one started filling up. I tried walking up and down, shook my head vigorously, blew my nose a couple of more times, but the Righties were even more tenacious than the Lefties had been. I had to keep breathing through my mouth, possible sounding like a majorly seduced porn star all through. After reviewing the desperate state of affairs the foreign invaders had put me in, I finally managed to locate a bottle of Tiger Balm. I tried to force myself to read what ailments exactly it was for, but I believe the lack of oxygen did now allow my brain to function properly. Out of sheer frustration, I put Tiger Balm on my nose. Now believe me when I tell you this, that is not one of the ailments it is for. My nose burnt all over, I had tears streaming down all over my face, and was basically more of a mess than I had been earlier. I think I even felt a little celebratory dance in my nostrils, which did give me momentary breathing space. Finally, after trying to fight of the various things going wrong in the general area of my face, I fell asleep, utterly exhausted.

In my head!

After a considerable amount of time, I have had a song stuck in my head for quite a while. This one is the 'Paayaliya' song from Dev D. I think the music is brilliant, the lyrics aren't anything great, but the entire package put together is simple fascinating. I especially like the part at the start of the song where the guy says 'By God'.. I think it's incredibly cool in a wannabe-wannabe sort of way (in that you're wanting to be wannabe.. if you know what I mean). I also like the part, somewhere in the middle of the song, where she says 'Paayaliya chan chan chan chan shor kare mohe piya ghar jaun', stressing the two italicized words, depicting desperation as well as irritation at not being there after all the time the song has gone on for (being at the piya's ghar, i.e.).

Uggh..sounds highly confusing, but if you get what I mean, well you simply get it, I guess :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pitter patter

On a similar nature-loving-type note, don't you just love all the songs whose beats make you think of rain. I think I can listen to them all day.
I feel like running wildly in some meadow or the other. Like really wildly, hair flying and all, not stopping for the longest time. Sigh..wish I had the stamina. Not to mention the meadow ;)