Saturday, April 25, 2009

Thank You (For lack of a more innovative title)

Having friends does not necessarily mean that those people are your well-wishers. Friends come in different packages, and I have had the good fortune (I guess) to have been associated with both varieties of friends- those who wish me well constantly, and those who have a slightly more competitive edge and are not purely routing for me. I would like to thank most deeply and pay a tribute to the former category of people, who have made more of a difference in my life than I think even they are aware of.

While I might come across to most as an extremely self-assured person, like most people (again, a guess) I have significant moments of self-doubt. Something people who know me (ever slightly) are very aware of is that I am an extremely anxious and tense person, especially with respect to results/outcomes/end-products of my attempts. In a place like law school, where we are constantly exposed to ups and downs, I think this trait in me has been enhanced and exhibited more frequently than ever before. I sincerely want to thank all those people who have stood by me and supported me in situations where I had very little faith in myself. In particular, I want to thank some special, who from as far as I can think back, has always been there for me. And by being there for me, I don’t just mean it in a sense where his emotional support has backed me through all my pursuits. He has physically been present through some of the most trying moments in law school. He has listened to me whine endlessly about how stressed I am about something, sometimes offering advice, sometimes just suggesting I calm down, and most of the times, just silently listening to me vent. He has held my hand through the declaration of results, calmed me down when I have failed and cheered me on with pure goodwill and absolutely no envy or tinge of competitiveness when I have succeeded. Something which might not seem like such a big deal, but has meant the most out of all these things he has done to me is the fact that whenever I have tackled any of these difficult situations, it has always been with the arrangement that I will meet him immediately after it. After the most disastrous moot oral round that I have had, he was waiting for me and we were to go for dinner. For a job interview which I was mortified about and right before which, my self-confidence had been torn to shreds, he chose to accompany me, which was completely unexpected. It means the world to me that during the oral round, I had the comforting thought that I just had to get through those messy twenty minutes, and I would be with him and could pour my heart to him about it. During my job interview, the fact that he was just outside the door and I would be able to tell him all about it in a matter of minutes after the interview was something that filled me with a sense of security. I don’t really know how to describe it, but his mere physical presence in the vicinity, or the assurance that he would be with me right after I got over with the ordeal and it was just in a matter of minutes that I would be in his comforting presence is something that has gotten me through what I would describe as my toughest moments in life so far. The thought that I could forget about all that had happened and just be in his company soon has often been what gave me the energy to go through with whatever it was that I was facing.

I know this post sounds sappy, and I know it is very different in terms of style with the other stuff I have written on my blog, given that it’s very straightforward and barely twisted in with many words (yeah, I know I do that). But I want this to be just what I said it was- a thank you note and a tribute. I haven’t achieved anything particularly significant in life so far, but whatever little I have in the past four years, I owe to a very large extent to you.


Anonymous said...

much moved..

Vinayak said...

I have no idea why I read this.

Bhavya said...

hehe.. maybe I should make my titles more specific