"So they can say you are high maintainence but it's okay because.. I like maintaining you"
- Chandler to Monica, Friends, Season 6

Of all the love stories in Friends, I have always thought the Monica-Chandler pairing was the most adorable. It's low key, especially compared to Rachel and Ross. It is not a high-pressure, meant-to-be thing, but just flows so naturally, after Season 5, it is difficult to picture them apart. I think it's beautifully developed, not rushed, and just fits. The little things they do for each other, the compromises they make and how the bond between them deepens makes me go 'aaw' every time.

A long-standing tradition in my law school life around this time of the academic year/trimester has been to impulsively decide, 2-3 days before exams begin, to go to town for dinner. I would dress up hastily and prettily, we'd decide on a dinner place and run off. My roommates would watch, initially bewildered, later resigned, and even later expecting this random pre-exam ritual of mine. Everyone I'd run into on the way would throw me quizzical looks, ask me scathing questions or roll eyes when I told them I was off to town because I was bored, and no, I hadn't started studying.

Today is one of those days again, when I have a paper in 3 days, and when I really feel like jumping out of bed, donning pretty clothes, shedding all worries and whizzing off to town for a nice meal and conversation, where everything about exams is forgotten; a trip that refreshes you entirely and is thoroughly enjoyable (not like I would come back and study, but it just made me feel very happy and comfortable). The thrill is not just of looking pretty and eating good food, but of being so nonchalant and uncaring with respect to exams; the sheer freedom to do what I want, when I want, of spending time, no matter how dangerously close to a deadline or an exam, with who I want and however I want to. Ah well...

I want to write a book. Any suggestions to inspire me?

If someone asked me which city I grew up in, I'd have to say, Bangalore.

The Greedy Lil Boys

Why won't the Ambani boys stop fighting?! Why don't they just split the damn money and be happy. I am sure there is more than enough for everyone.
And please, who are they kidding when they pretend it's a fight on principle. So much greed, I tell you, and that after you're building a helipad on your damn roof! Well, choices, I guess, but spare us the family drama in every newspaper and magazine, yaa!

The Elephant God and Me

I have not spent my entire life, or even my entire childhood in a single city. While it may be argued that having a parent(s) in a transferrable job gives you immense exposure on account of constant travel and adapting to new environments at short intervals, on the flip-side, it does give you a bit of a confused identity when it comes to identifying roots. The question ‘where are you from’ used to rankle me as a kid. I wasn’t sure. I was born in one city, had lived in 3 different cities in the first 4 years of my life, and in another one till I was 8. I barely knew the city I was born in and where my parents were born, so I was very confused as to why I should identify with the place I ethnically belonged to. But I couldn’t really identify particularly with any other city. That’s till I came to Bombay.

We moved to Bombay in May, 1996 (wow, it feels strange to quote dates from 13 years ago and actually recall the events that transpired then), and were here till April 2005. 9 years is the longest I have stayed in a single place, and therefore, I think it most legitimate to say I am from Bombay when I am asked.

For as long as I can think back, I have attached a great deal of sentiment with Ganesh Chaturthi. Ganesh Chaturthi for me has been a time for seeing Bombayites (Mumbaikers now, I suppose) who have lived in the same area, locality, colony or whatever, and who have otherwise been everything short of oblivious to each others’ existence, coming together to celebrate the chubby God. I suppose it is fitting that the only time the people of Bombay have to spare even for God is when that God gives a guarantee of wealth and prosperity. But then, yeh dhandhe ka shehar hai, this particular sentiment is what makes Bombay what it is, take it or leave it. At a third person, indifferent level, the festival interests me for the sheer unanimity with which Bombay rises up to contribute and rejoice during Ganesh Chaturthi. People seem happy, they dance, they frolick, they let go, even if it is for just a day, 5 days or even 11. But those are an outsider’s reasons for having an interest in the festival.

Like for most other people, the powers of association operate very strongly when it comes to childhood memories. The strangest things are intertwined with each other. Bombay is associated with Ganesh Chaturthi, which in turn is associated with my birthday. This is simply because my birthday usually follows very soon after Ganesh Chaturthi every year, in the month of September. As someone who has lived with, and in fact identifies with this particular city above all others, this festival retains a special place in my heart, and always will, probably because I have always thought Lord Ganesh and I shared this cool open-secret, since the dates (of my birthday and the Chaturthi) were so close apart. I have, in a sense, grown up with this festival. The colony I lived in from when I was 8 had large-scale celebrations. So in my younger years, and those were the good old days when we would get several days off from school for Ganesh Chaturthi, I remember singing and dancing at the festival. Believe me when I tell you that those performances were almost the focal point of the entire year for us; many weeks of practice would go into even a three-minute song sequence, there would be politicking and bitchiness, or whatever variations of the same were possible for a bunch of 8-year olds. We used to have an Arti every day, morning and evening, and our mothers would dress us all up in pretty clothes, powder our faces and send us off to attend these. And we in turn, would strut around proudly, showing off these fineries, and, as is common for all kids that age, become agents for older didis and bhaiyas who wanted to send flirtatious messages across each other, across the breadth of the Pandal.

With age, as often does, came wisdom, or at least, a kick-in of hormones. So the games we were mere pawns in till the age of twelve, acquired new players in the form of near- or newly-turned- teenagers, who had a whole new agenda behind the dressing up and powdered faces. The nakhras began, the strange movements our eyes and eyelids are capable of when triggered by a desire to attract the attention of the opposite sex (I’m not sure we were acquainted with homosexuality then, hence this one-sided usage), the acute shyness and tongue-tiedness when we actually succeeded, and (because life does come full-circle) the employing of younger kids as love-pigeons. Sometime around the time we turned 15, we also became bolder. We took the direct approach route, danced with the previously-only-looked-at parties during the Visarjan, doing the Arti ourselves, decorating the Ganpati without help from adults, as also responsibly finishing off prep for the oncoming term exams before the Puja, so that we could give it our full attention and energies. Unfortunately, the dance performances, and all the other things that gave us much joy earlier were outgrown by this age. We watched the kids perform now, with (usually) put-on delight on our faces and verbal appreciation on our lips, all the while thinking what a bore the whole thing was (the interesting part, of course being, that we weren’t really bored, we were just pretending to be bored, as also pretending on top of that to be interested because the whole thing was just cool). Of course, the dressing up also stopped; we were way too cool to do that now! When I was 16, we moved out of that colony. After that, I became more of a visitor to my erstwhile place of residence and puja-celebration, and like the other big kids, watched from a distance, minimizing participation and just ‘hanging out’ at the Pandal. We left Bombay when I was 18.

I have a very soft spot for Lord Ganesh. I think he is the most adorable of all gods, so fat and cute. Apart from being an icon of prosperity and goodwill, I just think He has stood by me while I have grown up, and is very simply just a part of me.

We have moved back to Bombay now. Yesterday was Ganesh Chaturthi, which marks the beginning of the puja. The murthis were set up in the Pandals yesterday. This year, Chaturthi is unusually early, as per the firang calendar. It was 20 days before my birthday. I went to see some pujas in the area I live in last night. The Pandals seemed to lack the glamour they had earlier. The murthis were still fat and cute, and the expression on Lord Ganesha’s face had the calming effect it always has. But the whole experience wasn’t as enthralling as it used to be for me. I didn’t dress up before going to see the murthi. I did not sing or dance, either as part of a performance or when the murthi was being brought in, and I doubt I will when the visarjan happens. I did not even hang out with friends, or look at anyone from the corner of my eye and think of ways and means to attract his attention. I felt oddly empty as I stood before the statue and prayed for health, wealth and prosperity. I suppose this is what growing up does to you.

And yet, I did notice the young people sitting in opposite corners, looking at each other slyly. And the kids playing-and-stopping and playing-and-stopping a music player while they practiced for a dance performance for today or tomorrow. And some zealous teenagers decorating the Arti-thaali and doing a rangoli on the floor. And I couldn’t help but think about the last 14 or so years and a much younger me, and smile. I suppose that’s the kind of bond people are asking about when they ask you where you are from.

Breaking up, one can handle. It's losing the friend that really gets to you.

Family

Though I've always been a very family-person, I now realize what the Godfather meant when he waxed eloquent on how important family really is. Family is a set of people that loves you, unconditionally. They don't ask questions, they don't judge. They just love you, all the time. And you can be truly fucked up (I think this is the first time I've used the f-word on my blog- violation of my erstwhile pristine space, but for want of a better phrase..!), you can screw up a lot, you can be totally pathetic (in your eyes and the world's), but they're always there. And they help in whatever big and small ways they can. At least, mine does. And I guess that's why they mean as much as they do to me.

I bank on my family for every ounce of support I draw, for my successes and numerous failures. I look to them for approval, understanding and acceptance. And I cannot be more grateful for anything else that I have been given than the set of people that comprises my family. Seriously, thanks, God!

The Couch Potato Me!

I am a huge fan of TV shows. I think I can watch almost anything on TV. It’s not always been this way; I used to think TV to be boring and a waste of time once upon a time. But for over 8 years or so now, I have been an avid TV watcher. I watch almost anything and everything- be it K-serials, sitcoms , comedy shows, reality show- I am not picky. And while I watch a fair amount of the stylish stuff or so-called intelligent stuff, I genuinely enjoy the Hindi serials that are purely drama and have very dressed up women plotting and planning. I have watched a fair bit of Kyunkii Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kalash, Kahiin Kisi Roz, Dulhann, Kumkum and god knows what else. And while I have known that these serials are largely brain-dead, I have always found them interesting, and enjoyed them for what they are meant to be- entertaining.

However, my point is not making public that I am not a very discerning viewer. I want to comment on the rather heartening development of Indian Television going back to regaining some class. I will explain why I say going back. When I was younger, around 10 or 12 I think, there were some pretty good serials on TV. Stuff like Saans and Kora Kagaz and Heena, which although melodramatic like stuff that has been on TV for the last 5 years, still had some respect for the Indian audience. They were not pure masala and scary music- they had story lines and often, a social message. This vacation, like in all others, I have actively watched TV. And it was a pleasant surprise to see that Indian TV seems to have grown up. Serials aren’t just saas-bahu fights, or intra-family plotting to win over property any longer. Agreed, there is probably still a fair share of this kind of stuff on TV. But what is refreshing is the fact that there are plenty of serials which actually have a story, discuss and present important social themes very relevant to India to a section of society probably ignorant to them, and that this presenting is done intelligently. There are two serials which have stories based in Bihar. One is called Bhagyavidhata and another is something called Agle Janam Humi Bitwa Kijo (I am not entirely sure about the names because I switch channels when ads come and often miss the names.. these are the names my domestic help has told me). The first is about this brother who kidnaps the guy who was supposed to marry his sister but had walked out on the wedding because his family insisted on some preconditions which weren’t fulfilled, and gets him married to his sister, and the events that follow. The other is about this girl in a village in Bihar who gets sold off to a zamindar because her family could not afford medicines for its many children. And I would like to emphasize that these serials are still dramatic, and the women (the rich ones in the houses, at least) are pretty dressed up. There is dramatic music, lighting that one would never see in a regular household, and the protagonists, though they are supposed to be impoverished women, are rather pretty. However, the point I am trying to make is that despite all these embellishments common to an Indian TV show (and for all those who criticize the fact that women in all Hindi serials are always dressed up and have tones of make up on, I ask you, would you watch a bunch of ugly buffoons running around on screen? They’ve got to do whatever sells, and fortunately or unfortunately, heavy make-up and fancy sarees do the trick for a large part of the Indian audience!), the stories are very close to reality. I am not going to pretend I know a lot about Indian culture, or for that matter, social realities in Bihar. But I have read a bit, listened to a lot of stories, and think I do know a little. And both these stories ring very true. There are actually cases where poor families kidnap grooms because they can’t pay dowry for the wedding of their daughters or sisters. And the sale of women for money- I believe that’s fairly common to a lot of places, but it certainly is to villages in Bihar. I have heard of some real-life stories along similar lines. Then there is another serial on Star Plus called Mitwa, which portrays the very matter-of-act despicable treatment of a girl child, and how in a particular Rajasthani family, whenever the bahu is pregnant, a sex-determination test is carried out and if it’s a girl, it is promptly aborted. What’s interesting is the way the concept is handled- it’s not like the family is insane, the woman who is pregnant has a really loving husband and doting mother-in-law. It’s just that it’s an accepted norm of things to want a male child and kill a female, and no one thinks it’s absurd or cruel- it’s just a ways of life.

Again, I am not a huge fan of pedagogical, preachy modes of entertainment. But I would like to commend the fact that TV-serial-makers no longer view the Indian audience as being a dumb lot, which watches serials with pretty things and manipulative plots. I also commend the fact that through a rather entertaining mode, they are able to create a certain amount of awareness. Now I am not saying that by making us aware of brutal issues like female infanticide, the artists or creators are inspiring any of us to run to NGOs and do some social work, or even make fashionable contributions for any charitable purpose. I think simply making us aware of certain things that are an intrinsic part of the country we live in is quite a commendable job in itself.

I am also very glad to see that after a rather scary phase of mindless TV soaps with random crying all over (although I was faithful even through this low time, I did think it was slightly insulting to everyone’s intelligence that marriage was a top-most priority for every damn girl in every damn family), we have returned to the phase of Nina Gupta’s Saans or Renuka Shahane’s Kora Kagaz or Simone Singh’s Heena (you’d probably like to count in Shanti, which I’ve heard is a good serial but have never watched), which were extremely entertaining, well-made and intelligent pieces of work. And while we still have a long way to go (there are still a lot of stupid things on, trust me, I watch some of it!), it’s good to note that we’re moving ahead, and that the idiot box isn’t all that idiotic anymore.

My 21 Random Things

There you go, Anwesh. I am tempted to write more than 21, but am sticking to figure for now.

1. I am very often very preoccupied, and listen to less than half of what the person talking to me is saying.

2. I usually multitask decently, but when it comes to texting, I CANNOT do anything (even listen to someone talking to me) while texting.

3. I spend a lot of time thinking about very random, small issues, which are entirely disconnected from me or anything about my life.

4. I like rain. A lot. At any time, falling with whatever intensity. I feel like it cleanses my soul.

5. I know I am arrogant. And I am not sure I am not happy with that.

6. This will sound funny, and not entirely consistent with my current attitude towards academic s, but I genuinely enjoy learning. I love the feeling of learning something new, grasping new concepts and applying them or understanding how they apply. Whenever I learn something new, and understand something about something I have observed in the past, I feel like there were previously clouds above my eyebrows and they have parted. I feel this literally.

7. I have a very short attention span and find most things uninteresting.

8. I talk a lot. A LOT. It’s just a question of me opening up.

9. I can whine about almost anything in the world.

10. I think regular headaches are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Try going to sleep and waking up with a headache almost every day.

11. I want the guy I will marry to propose to me with a ring from Tiffany’s. Materialistic, I know, but I want this.

12. Cheese-cakes, apple pies and chicken (most forms and preparations) are my favourite eating things in the world.

13. I really, truly enjoy music. I can almost feel my heart ache when I hear something very beautiful.

14. I actually like the law. There are many interpretations of this, so I wont really try to explain what I mean.

15. I want to, some day, own a big white house, with a winding drive way that leads to, and with a big garden in front of it.

16. This is something I learnt about myself recently, but I really like pretty things. Be it clothes, watches, bags, shoes.. I can feel an actual craving to possess sometimes.

17. I am very impatient.

18. I read almost anything. I can pick a shampoo bottle when I am in the loo and read its contents. I can be waiting for a flight and read all the rules and regulations of the carrier printed on the ticket.

19. Although I use them, I don’t like low cost carriers at all. I think they’ve ruined the experience of flying forever.

20. I tremendously enjoy watching TV shows. I have spent up to 12 hours watching TV shows back-to-back, without even taking a break to eat. I can watch TV shows on almost anything.

21. I worry a lot. About things important and irrelevant.

Fifth Year. Wow! Some how, all through the last four years, I never really thought the day would come. I mean, it was somewhere far off in the distant future. But actually getting there never seemed a realistic possibility. I am just so bowled over now :D

(Of course, I still have to pass all four courses of this trimester. Sigh..)

The Only Constant Thing

I realized something funny the other day (it’s exam time, which explains all the deep and unrelated-to-syllabus philosophizing). It’s something I have observed about my time in law school, but I guess it holds true for most other places, and the larger picture of life also.

When I came into law school, I was all energetic and enthusiastic about my relationships with people, anxious to make a good impression, anxious to make good friends, genuinely concerned about the lives and worries of all people I associated with. I took it upon myself to make the lives of people I was close to better. I also came across people who I thought would need my help, and tried to make their lives better, bring about a change. I realize how presumptuous I sound, and I guess I was, back then. But the intentions were genuinely honest. I believed I could make things better, make people happier. And I zealously embarked on this mission of bringing about change.

Sometime in the middle, after having been faced by disappointment on several counts (not the least for the basic stupidity of my mission and my pompous assumption that I had it in me to change everyone around me according to what I felt they needed), the tempo of my spree slowed down considerably. I then started to focus on people who asked for my help.
As would be evident to the reader from the general tenor of this post, even this was rather unsuccessful an attempt. I slowly started coming to terms with the fact that most people didn’t want to change. And that perhaps I was flawed myself in too many ways to actually have the ability to change them.

After this came a phase where I tried to hold on to the person I was, ensure that I didn’t change into something I had never been and didn’t want to be. I would tenaciously hold on to the person I was pre-law school, the person who I thought was nicer and pleasanter than the person circumstances were pushing me into becoming. If you look back at this blog, I guess you can see a lot of reflections of this thought. About how I did not want to become an escapist, about how I could see through the shallow, ill-tempered, aggressive person I was fast becoming.

In the last phase, it’s largely exhaustion I felt from trying to hold on for so long. So I let go. I don’t know if I managed to change anyone, I don’t know if I retained any part of what I used to be, but what I do know is that change is inevitable, and I learnt that it’s most often changes in you that you observe over time. From fighting to change others, to fighting change in myself, I have finally come to terms with, or at least acknowledged, that it’s finally I who is now different. For better or for worse.

I signed the contract. I am officially employed. After 2 years of almost sleepless nights. YAY!!

I have a job.

The morning after, one can't but help but be grateful that there wasn't a gun in the drawer of one's desk.

100!!!!!!!!!!

ONE HUNDRED POSTS.

Need I say more?! I'm AWESOME :D

Thank You (For lack of a more innovative title)

Having friends does not necessarily mean that those people are your well-wishers. Friends come in different packages, and I have had the good fortune (I guess) to have been associated with both varieties of friends- those who wish me well constantly, and those who have a slightly more competitive edge and are not purely routing for me. I would like to thank most deeply and pay a tribute to the former category of people, who have made more of a difference in my life than I think even they are aware of.

While I might come across to most as an extremely self-assured person, like most people (again, a guess) I have significant moments of self-doubt. Something people who know me (ever slightly) are very aware of is that I am an extremely anxious and tense person, especially with respect to results/outcomes/end-products of my attempts. In a place like law school, where we are constantly exposed to ups and downs, I think this trait in me has been enhanced and exhibited more frequently than ever before. I sincerely want to thank all those people who have stood by me and supported me in situations where I had very little faith in myself. In particular, I want to thank some special, who from as far as I can think back, has always been there for me. And by being there for me, I don’t just mean it in a sense where his emotional support has backed me through all my pursuits. He has physically been present through some of the most trying moments in law school. He has listened to me whine endlessly about how stressed I am about something, sometimes offering advice, sometimes just suggesting I calm down, and most of the times, just silently listening to me vent. He has held my hand through the declaration of results, calmed me down when I have failed and cheered me on with pure goodwill and absolutely no envy or tinge of competitiveness when I have succeeded. Something which might not seem like such a big deal, but has meant the most out of all these things he has done to me is the fact that whenever I have tackled any of these difficult situations, it has always been with the arrangement that I will meet him immediately after it. After the most disastrous moot oral round that I have had, he was waiting for me and we were to go for dinner. For a job interview which I was mortified about and right before which, my self-confidence had been torn to shreds, he chose to accompany me, which was completely unexpected. It means the world to me that during the oral round, I had the comforting thought that I just had to get through those messy twenty minutes, and I would be with him and could pour my heart to him about it. During my job interview, the fact that he was just outside the door and I would be able to tell him all about it in a matter of minutes after the interview was something that filled me with a sense of security. I don’t really know how to describe it, but his mere physical presence in the vicinity, or the assurance that he would be with me right after I got over with the ordeal and it was just in a matter of minutes that I would be in his comforting presence is something that has gotten me through what I would describe as my toughest moments in life so far. The thought that I could forget about all that had happened and just be in his company soon has often been what gave me the energy to go through with whatever it was that I was facing.

I know this post sounds sappy, and I know it is very different in terms of style with the other stuff I have written on my blog, given that it’s very straightforward and barely twisted in with many words (yeah, I know I do that). But I want this to be just what I said it was- a thank you note and a tribute. I haven’t achieved anything particularly significant in life so far, but whatever little I have in the past four years, I owe to a very large extent to you.

Rain is the most beautiful of all of nature's creations. Nothing comes close even.
I know this theme is getting repetetive, especially under this label. But I can't help it. Rain reasserts my faith that there is a God in charge, and he creates wonderful things sometimes. It simply cleanses my soul.

NLSIU

It hit me recently (actually when R pointed it out) that I have just 5 months left in law school. 2 months of this trimester, and 3 in the last trimester of 5th year. It is such an unbelievably weird feeling. At the cost of sounding very clichéd, it wasn’t so long ago that I remember lamenting that I didn’t know how I would ever get out of this place, and that 5 years was an incredibly long time. And now suddenly, it’s just 5 months; 5 months in a place where I have spent the last 4 years of my life, 5 months with the people I have been closest to for what feels like forever, 5 months in Nags, with Chetta and Peking and Rohini.

And I started wondering, if I could have done things differently, what is it that I would have done. Here’s a rough list:
1. Studied a bit more.
2. Whined much, much less.
3. Had more to drink. Not picked up smoking.
4. Gotten to know more people, especially the ones I always thought were rather cool, but kept procrastinating talking to.
5. Spent more hours outside Himalaya with Rishabh.
6. Eaten out less. Or maybe more.
7. Tried to stay out of certain messes I was drawn into.
8. Tried to be more involved when some of my friends needed me.
9. Talked less.
10. Not lost a phone, an ATM card and a credit card.
11. Shut people out less.
12. Gone jogging/ gyming.
13. Called my friends more when I was at home.
14. Replied to Anwesha’s mail about Bombay.
15. Partied more, sulked less.
16. Listened more.
17. Had more water fights.
18. Been less nasty to juniors during Univ Week. Nah, not really.
19. Not interned in the first and second year.
20. Not gone home when Rajkumar died.
21. Not fought with Adarsh.
22. Stayed back a few times at the end of trimester (on the day after the last paper).
23. Not screamed at Amber so much. Cared more.
24. Talked to more people.
25. Read more articles in Socio I. And Pol Sci.
26. Not read articles for Socio II end term.
27. Been a bit nicer to people who seemed lost or lonely.
28. Been a little meaner to people who hurt me.
29. Tried to learn Contracts on my own.
30. Submitted a few more projects on time.
31. Mooted more.
32. Brooded less.
33. Gotten to know Divya a little earlier.
34. Been more tolerant.
35. Done a better Corp II project.
36. Been more careful about who I dated and who I dumped.
37. Been a better Secret Santa.
38. Explored Nags more.
39. Screamed at more Auto-wallas.
40. Bought fewer clothes.
41. Read more.
42. Treated my car better and given it more of a chance.
43. Not judged some people too soon.
44. Been a better judge of character with some.
45. Played Holi on campus a few more times.
46. Liked law school a little more.
47. Cried less.
48. Been more childish.
49. Gotten to know Kaushik a little earlier and taken his trip more.
50. Gone for Pub Pool more.
51. Chilled more, worried less.

A lot of things I can think of, apart from the 51 abovementioned, that I would want to differently. But at the end of it all, I am not really sure I would have liked to spend a single minute differently. Here’s to college life and all the ups and downs it comes with, here’s to all the friends who love you and hate you the most all at the time. Here’s to law school, a strange place, which you can’t live with and can’t live without, which has dominated my existence for as long as I can think of myself as an adult and is now disappearing all too soon. Here’s too all the many clichés I have used in this post, but genuinely felt, all the same.

The Common Cold Syndrome

Inspired by the current state of my nose, not to mention general health, I wish to expound on the various things my system was forced to undergo when I suffered from a common cold. For the life of me, I don’t understand why it’s called a ‘common’ cold. I think it’s the most awful of all ailments, save the biggies.
For the last 3 days, my nose and throat have been acting like they have a life of their own. Till today, I was not in possession of that wonderful substance called Vicks Vaporub. So I spent two nights with at least one blocked nostril at all times. Last night was particularly disconcerting. After getting up over a thousand times and walking the enormous distance between my hostel room and the washbasin to blow my nose, I still had to breathe through my mouth. Discussing in particular the phenomenon of blowing one’s nose, I hate the fact that it just leaves you usually more breathless, and that the areas around your nose seem to burn right after you finish blowing it. Last night, it left me feeling particularly feisty and dissatisfied. In any case, after returning to my bed, I tried changing the position of my face many, many times, hoping that the blockage would reduce. My left nostril was completely clogged, and I kept closing my right one and trying to blow through the left one to get some relief. But nothing really happened. It was like these tiny creatures had set up an enormous fort in my left nostril and no gust of wind could blow it away. I even tried lying flat on my stomach, hoping that gravity would force those little minions to move down a bit. I finally found a position, head tilted slightly to the left, where the left nostril seemed to be clearing. And you’ll probably not believe this (I don’t know if there is a scientific irony sufficiently explaining this), but as my left nostril started to clear, my right one started filling up. I tried walking up and down, shook my head vigorously, blew my nose a couple of more times, but the Righties were even more tenacious than the Lefties had been. I had to keep breathing through my mouth, possible sounding like a majorly seduced porn star all through. After reviewing the desperate state of affairs the foreign invaders had put me in, I finally managed to locate a bottle of Tiger Balm. I tried to force myself to read what ailments exactly it was for, but I believe the lack of oxygen did now allow my brain to function properly. Out of sheer frustration, I put Tiger Balm on my nose. Now believe me when I tell you this, that is not one of the ailments it is for. My nose burnt all over, I had tears streaming down all over my face, and was basically more of a mess than I had been earlier. I think I even felt a little celebratory dance in my nostrils, which did give me momentary breathing space. Finally, after trying to fight of the various things going wrong in the general area of my face, I fell asleep, utterly exhausted.

In my head!

After a considerable amount of time, I have had a song stuck in my head for quite a while. This one is the 'Paayaliya' song from Dev D. I think the music is brilliant, the lyrics aren't anything great, but the entire package put together is simple fascinating. I especially like the part at the start of the song where the guy says 'By God'.. I think it's incredibly cool in a wannabe-wannabe sort of way (in that you're wanting to be wannabe.. if you know what I mean). I also like the part, somewhere in the middle of the song, where she says 'Paayaliya chan chan chan chan shor kare mohe piya ghar jaun', stressing the two italicized words, depicting desperation as well as irritation at not being there after all the time the song has gone on for (being at the piya's ghar, i.e.).

Uggh..sounds highly confusing, but if you get what I mean, well you simply get it, I guess :)

Pitter patter

On a similar nature-loving-type note, don't you just love all the songs whose beats make you think of rain. I think I can listen to them all day.

I feel like running wildly in some meadow or the other. Like really wildly, hair flying and all, not stopping for the longest time. Sigh..wish I had the stamina. Not to mention the meadow ;)

Love Part- IV

This occurred to me while studying for IL (don’t know why, and don’t ask me how the paper went- let me just say, I might as well have written this blog post then itself :( ). I know the theme is getting a little boring (gauging, inter alia, by the fact that no one is commenting anymore), but well, love is so many things, what can one do (hehe..sorry! A little bit of cliché keeps the fire alive!)

I don’t know if it happens to you, but some times, at the oddest time, I feel like talking to someone about something. It is usually something very random and irrelevant at that time. It is often nothing in particular; just an urge to talk to that person. But I still want to talk, and talk right then. And I have no compunctions about waking that person up at 3 in the morning, and telling him ‘Wake up. I want to talk to you. I am bored.’ And that person actually does get up and talk to me.

The ability to say that to someone without giving it any thought... that’s the security of feeling loved. And the ability to get up without uttering one word of complaint and make conversation, that is, well, that’s stupidity :)

Love Part III

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

- 'Fix You', Coldplay