The White Queen: Can you do addition? What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?
Alice: I don't know. I lost count.
I thought I was good at math. Somewhere along the way, I lost count too. Of what, though?
The Duchess: Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.
Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall..
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.
This is crap. Don't look for a thread of reason. There isn't one.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Ask him to find me an acre of land,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Between the salt water and the sea-strand,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
Ask him to plough it with a lamb's horn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And sow it all over with one peppercorn,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
Ask him to reap it with a sickle of leather,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And gather it up with a rope made of heather,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
When he has done and finished his work,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Ask him to come for his cambric shirt,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
If you say that you can't, then I shall reply,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Oh, Let me know that at least you will try,
Or you'll never be a true love of mine.
Love imposes impossible tasks,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
But none more than any heart would ask,
I must know you're a true love of mine.
If you're listening, please come. I'm tired. Very close to losing heart. Not to mention bored. Please.
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Between the salt water and the sea-strand,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
Ask him to plough it with a lamb's horn,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And sow it all over with one peppercorn,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
Ask him to reap it with a sickle of leather,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
And gather it up with a rope made of heather,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
When he has done and finished his work,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Ask him to come for his cambric shirt,
For then he'll be a true love of mine.
If you say that you can't, then I shall reply,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
Oh, Let me know that at least you will try,
Or you'll never be a true love of mine.
Love imposes impossible tasks,
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,
But none more than any heart would ask,
I must know you're a true love of mine.
If you're listening, please come. I'm tired. Very close to losing heart. Not to mention bored. Please.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
On The Rim
I didn't realize how apt the name of my blog was till this morning. Was lazing around at home, as is usual during vacations..and it suddenly occured to me that there are hundreds of things I need to think out. Like plan my internships, think over my exam which I have to write on the 24th, start doing basic research for the moot, plan out my diet, discuss some things about college and work and future with my parents, find out some things..and I realized how much I procrastinate with respect to these issues.
Even since college has begun, I never really allow myself to settle down in either place, be it home or college. When I'm in college I'm always looking forward to getting home and chilling, and when I'm home, I keep putting off things I really need to work out in my head till I get to college. I don't know when I became so much of an escapist. Somewhere along the line, I've become so underconfident about being up to facing a problem and coming out on the winning side that I've started ignoring problems altogether. It's not like they don't catch up with me, but whenever they do, I just take an ad hoc decision and forget about the whole thing. It's really weird- this isn't what I used to be like. And I've really missed out on a lot in the last two and a half years because of this. I need to settle down. Breathe. And think, and take decisions. Focus. And live the life that's currently on play. Stop running from one place to another in my head. Maybe I should try meditating. And I really should lose weight.
I'm gonna do both from today. Just after this last little nap. I've gotta get down, plunge deeper, stop being the rim-person that I've become. I suppose this entry would've been more apt for a very personal journal. But I don't keep one. And I don't really care if people see this. So there. I will stop floating today. Just after this little nap.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Home again
A non-whiny blog entry is what I'm attempting here. Cuz believe it or not, right now, I'm perfectly perfectly happy. I'm at home..it's the first day, so no troubles have begun yet. We're going out for dinner tonight..a belated birthday celebration. Reminds me of those days in Bombay..dinners with the family every other week. It's kinda funny you know.. the days when you've got a smaller house, not so much money, crunches here and there..those are really the nicest days. I suppose it's because those are the days you have time for people.
I love it this way also, though. Nostalgia's one thing. The present's pretty ok today. And I'm savouring every moment. This is probably my last every vacation. The next few will be busy. And then I'll have to start working. Wow!
Sooo..life's good. No work. Nothing to worry about in the near future. I feel light and free (I sound like a shady girly song now). Sipping the tea and having besan ka halwa (you must try it if you haven't had it). Just doing my thing. Taking in the feeling of being home. Being content. Aah..:-)
I love it this way also, though. Nostalgia's one thing. The present's pretty ok today. And I'm savouring every moment. This is probably my last every vacation. The next few will be busy. And then I'll have to start working. Wow!
Sooo..life's good. No work. Nothing to worry about in the near future. I feel light and free (I sound like a shady girly song now). Sipping the tea and having besan ka halwa (you must try it if you haven't had it). Just doing my thing. Taking in the feeling of being home. Being content. Aah..:-)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
A Note on Someone
I suppose it's once in a lifetime that you meet someone who understands you. In 20 years (yes, this is also to draw attention to the fact that I turned 20 recently), I've met just one person who understands me almost completely. Unfortunately though, like I keep telling him, I don't think he can ever appreciate me.
Friends are weird creatures. They come in all kinds of packages, sustain all sorts of temperaments and contribute in their own significant or not-so-significant way to life. But something I believe is common to all friends anyone will have will be that that friend should have a minimal understanding of the person concerned. If anything, that's probably the foundation. I've been lucky in that respect. I've had a bunch of friends who've all understood me pretty well, more often than not. But like I said, it's ever so rarely that there is that one person who knows you through and through, can almost always correctly predict what you'll feel. They say that when you meet such a person, with whom you have such a cherished equation, you should grab him with both hands.
But you know, sometimes it's this perfection that ruins the picture. It is this kind of complete understanding that slowly wears down fragments of the relationship. Something similar has happened in my case. Things happened too late. Understanding notwithstanding, acting on that understanding happened too late. There is too much criticism and inherent dislike for whatever is understood. A strange concoction of love and abhorrence. Leaving me afraid all the time as to which one will prevail on a given occasion, on a given day. Probably understanding too much is the natural precursor to contempt. One of life's little ironies, I suppose, to use the overused phrase.
That being the introduction, I really don't know how to get to actually describing this person. An entry on him has been pending for a while, and since this is my first entry on an individual, I assume that this person is flattered. Whenever I think of him, the first word that comes to my mind is supportive. For the time that I've known him, I can't think of a single incident when he has let me down. When I've needed to talk or cry or 'analyze' things when he hasn't been there. All right, there have been stray occassions, but they've cost us both and our relationship severely, and those aren't the prevalent memories. He always listents, always advices. It may not be a practicable or empathetic solution, but the fact that he offers a solution after a genuinely interested round of listening is enough. I think this is his greatest gift. He can actually make a problem seem simpler, a situation seem so much lighter. He has recently taken to doing small special things, being very thoughtful. I don't think it comes very naturally to him, but he's doing it for me now. Which is really touching.
Naturally, there are downsides. What hurts the most is the utter lack of the ability to relate or appreciate. That apart, shades of insecurity and very, very violent tempers sparsely hidden cast dark clouds. The funnt thing is, though there have been so, so many occassions when we've been together, I can't think of a single time which is either all happy or all sad. It's all...grey, in a way. Which isn't a bad thing, the way I mean it. All I'm saying is it's complicated..nothing seems simple anymore. And neither of us are helping that.
Sometimes I think I'll probably end up marrying him. For the simple reason that I know I'll never meet another person who understands me this way. Don't ask me how I know; it's just an instinct. But I think we'll drive each other crazy after a point. We differ on too many basics, as he had once said. Either way, I wanna make this a little dramatic, and thank him for every time he has unquestioningly been there for me, has patiently listened to me whining about the same things again and again. There's a lot more to him, there's a lot more to us. Both good and bad. But this is all I'll say for now.
Friends are weird creatures. They come in all kinds of packages, sustain all sorts of temperaments and contribute in their own significant or not-so-significant way to life. But something I believe is common to all friends anyone will have will be that that friend should have a minimal understanding of the person concerned. If anything, that's probably the foundation. I've been lucky in that respect. I've had a bunch of friends who've all understood me pretty well, more often than not. But like I said, it's ever so rarely that there is that one person who knows you through and through, can almost always correctly predict what you'll feel. They say that when you meet such a person, with whom you have such a cherished equation, you should grab him with both hands.
But you know, sometimes it's this perfection that ruins the picture. It is this kind of complete understanding that slowly wears down fragments of the relationship. Something similar has happened in my case. Things happened too late. Understanding notwithstanding, acting on that understanding happened too late. There is too much criticism and inherent dislike for whatever is understood. A strange concoction of love and abhorrence. Leaving me afraid all the time as to which one will prevail on a given occasion, on a given day. Probably understanding too much is the natural precursor to contempt. One of life's little ironies, I suppose, to use the overused phrase.
That being the introduction, I really don't know how to get to actually describing this person. An entry on him has been pending for a while, and since this is my first entry on an individual, I assume that this person is flattered. Whenever I think of him, the first word that comes to my mind is supportive. For the time that I've known him, I can't think of a single incident when he has let me down. When I've needed to talk or cry or 'analyze' things when he hasn't been there. All right, there have been stray occassions, but they've cost us both and our relationship severely, and those aren't the prevalent memories. He always listents, always advices. It may not be a practicable or empathetic solution, but the fact that he offers a solution after a genuinely interested round of listening is enough. I think this is his greatest gift. He can actually make a problem seem simpler, a situation seem so much lighter. He has recently taken to doing small special things, being very thoughtful. I don't think it comes very naturally to him, but he's doing it for me now. Which is really touching.
Naturally, there are downsides. What hurts the most is the utter lack of the ability to relate or appreciate. That apart, shades of insecurity and very, very violent tempers sparsely hidden cast dark clouds. The funnt thing is, though there have been so, so many occassions when we've been together, I can't think of a single time which is either all happy or all sad. It's all...grey, in a way. Which isn't a bad thing, the way I mean it. All I'm saying is it's complicated..nothing seems simple anymore. And neither of us are helping that.
Sometimes I think I'll probably end up marrying him. For the simple reason that I know I'll never meet another person who understands me this way. Don't ask me how I know; it's just an instinct. But I think we'll drive each other crazy after a point. We differ on too many basics, as he had once said. Either way, I wanna make this a little dramatic, and thank him for every time he has unquestioningly been there for me, has patiently listened to me whining about the same things again and again. There's a lot more to him, there's a lot more to us. Both good and bad. But this is all I'll say for now.
Monday, August 13, 2007
On 'Jugaad'
I am from North India, studying in Bangalore. I've lived here for the last two and a half odd years. I have quite a few friends now who're ethnically from South India, and not very comfortable with Hindi. So translating some random jokes cracked in Hindi to English has become something of a second nature. But once in a while, I come across this odd word for which it is impossible to find an accurate English translation which conveys the meaning correctly.
One such word is jugaad. I don't know how many of you actually know the meaning. It's one of those stunning words which can be used in lots of places, and conveys a certain flavour, a certain crassness which no other word which is being used to describe it can really capture. Jugaad partly means making do with whatever resources you have, using them intelligently to suit whatever need you want, without going through the trouble of looking for the most suitable equipment. It's like making the most of the available options. 'Yeh kaise kiya?' 'Kuch khaas nahi..Jugaad lagaya'.
It's an absolutely brilliant word for the sheer utility it has. Once you understand what it means, you cannot possibly not use it. It sort of fits everywhere..one of those perfect, perfect words..sigh..lovely word!