Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I realized recently just how bitter a person I have become. I don't know when I became like this old naggy woman who finds fault in everyone but herself, and criticizes everything around her, has no tolerance and voices loud, bitter, irritated opinions to anyone and everyone who is listening (or not). I've lost my enthusiam, my general air of happiness, and tolerance (to the point of indifference- now I think only core-level indifference remains). Worst thing, though it might superficial and trivial, is the change in speech. I sound so bitter now. I use harsh language, for friends, relatives, people in general, regardless of whether or not they've even said or done something to me.

I am also doing a lot of this. Skimming through life quickly, counting hours, minutes, simply waiting for things, days, weeks to get over. And get where? Reach at what? It's like living on the surface, refusing to settle into anything, just racing to get somewhere (I don't know where).

I've become really shady, I say.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chill..u'll get ur wind back..think nice thoughts..do whatever u feel like..cook nice desserts for urself..go buy nice clothes..play cards with ur family and generally pamper urself..also talk to nice and exotic(not all of them are useless) people..

Anonymous said...

Ya I hope it works out. And you feel better.

Bhavya said...

@ anonymous 1- I don't know any exotic people. And I don't pamper myself.

@ anonymous 2- Obviously you hope so. I do too.

And now people are calling me bitter. About what...their ex-flames?! (First of all, I don't understand how that works; anyhow..) Excuse me, world, I've sunk, but not that low. So kindly refrain from throwing around your comments without being asked for them. Really..I didn't think I'd see the day.

Bhavya said...

@ anon 1- I'm sorry I was rude. Was in a really bad mood. Thanks for the wishes!

Anonymous said...

Yo..take care woman..and get out of the bad mood..u know i have some 750 pages to read..:-(